A client in his late forties came to see me because he was having marital difficulties. On the surface it appeared that his wife is a demanding person who rarely appreciated him. His chief complaint was that she didn’t want to have consistent sex with him and that she wanted him to make more money. As we got to the heart of the matter over time, he began to share how truly unsafe he felt in their marriage. In his perception, reaching out to her and expressing himself invited criticism in return. He often felt punished and attacked. Instead of communicating, he gradually began to ignore her and avoid intimacy. Does this sound familiar?