A Discussion on the Dynamics of Intimacy and its Pitfalls - Dr. Brett

“Allowing someone their freedom is actually showing more caring than holding on to them.  It is very caring to let someone go when they want to experience something else!” She said.

“Exactly! I responded enthusiastically. We hold on because we are scared to let go, scared of getting hurt, afraid of being alone…”

“Well,” she interrupted, “and woman are more heart based so when we care and then the guy wants to move on we wonder if he really cared about us or we think it didn’t mean so much to him.”

“Yes and the truth may be that he wants to experience something or someone else and it isn’t a personal rejection even if it feels that way. In Ernie’s case, if he had a greater communication skill set, he may have said something like this: a part of me really cares about you and yet another part of me wants to experience this new opportunity abroad and not feel so attached here. He wasn’t able to share this but it might be closer to the truth than you making it mean that he didn’t really care about you or the relationship didn’t mean that much to him!

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Anxiety is the feeling of fear, dread, worry and concern that is often associated with physiological uneasiness. There are many reasons people experience anxiety. Some of us are prone to it through our genetic makeup. Others have been so strongly conditioned in childhood through abuse, neglect or trauma, that the experience of anxiety is inevitable. In my experience of working with thousands of people over the past twenty years, the vast majority of us experience anxiety as a result of the habit of avoidance.

Avoidance, as we all know, has negative consequences. There are times in life when it is important to consciously take a break from someone or something. Sometimes, we need to make those breaks permanent. It is fundamental, however, that we do so intentionally. In other words, that we do not avoid. Instead of avoiding, we can learn over time to consciously choose what we want to experience in life and business. Choosing our experiences consciously is a powerful approach to success in life and business.

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