An article by David Busis in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times entitled ‘Meanwhile in a Parallel Universe,’ is very interesting. The author is frustrated and uncertain about his career while a college buddy has made millions doing what he loves as an entrepreneur. Mr. Busis and his wife vacation with his buddy and his new flame setting the stage for discomfort as everything seems better for his buddy than himself.
Having lived nearly five decades now I’ve seen suffering in almost everyone’s life. Though some of us seem to figure out our careers and self- love journeys sooner than others, most of us are faced with similar obstacles: finding and creating a rewarding career, creating a happy and healthy family and developing inner peace. None of this is easy but if we learn to avoid nothing, be as present as possible, have outstanding integrity and honor ourselves, we have a much greater chance at success and will tend to feel good about ourselves and our journeys no matter what others are up too.
As an identical twin I know this to be true. My brother has made millions of dollars a year for over two decades while I focused on making a difference in people’s lives. His lifestyle has far outstripped mine in every material way and yet I am happy largely because I live the principles I teach!
My buddy’s wife just sent me this pic of him braving the chilly waters of southern Cal in December. Twenty years ago, as graduate students, Rob and I used to do this together! In fact, on December 11th 1995 I threw myself in the frigid San Diego waters to try to calm my nerves because that evening I had to defend my doctoral dissertation, the culmination of nearly four and a half years work. Thanks for the reminder Marla!
I am a huge believer in taking a proactive approach to life, everywhere! I remember listening to Jimmy Johnson, the former super-bowl winning coach of the Dallas Cowboys in the 90’s, talk about another team running up the score on the loser. His perspective, which may seem a little harsh, was that the loosing team had no business complaining, instead they should get better so that running up the score never happens to them again. The essence of this perspective is to never ever blame another but to take total responsibility for your life and the outcomes in it. From a Spiritual perspective, everything in our reality is created by each of us, though not necessarily consciously.
Learning to live life proactively is a fantastic way to create your destiny as opposed to waiting for life to happen. Far too many people take a passive approach to life or at best their approach is mixed. In other words, many of us are proactive in one area, such as business, and then passive in another area such as intimacy. Sometimes, the reverse is true. Very few people are proactive across the board. And yet, if we peer into the life of an amazing person, such as Oprah, we see a very proactive approach everywhere!