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Learn how to value people

Adam Bryant interviews Kate Cole, the president of Cinnabon, in this week’s Corner Office! Her perspective is worth knowing. For instance, when business is going well she tends to ask more questions to be certain of the why and to be prepared for the downside. She likes to encourage feedback and communication and even disagreement though in respectful ways. Ms. Cole also encourages coach-ability, curiosity, and commitment to others. I like her perspective because she seems to genuinely care about others, is intelligent and very interpersonally oriented values I teach and value myself.

There are many ways I can express what I do for living as a sports psychologist and business and life coach. One playful way is to say that I teach self and other. We live in a society that does a fair amount of self. In other words, lots of people are self-absorbed. I liked Ms. Cole’s perspective because she clearly values other. If you want to be truly happy you must know how to love and value people! The ability to feel, create, and express love is essential for happiness and makes for greater success as an athlete, businessman, or parent. To cultivate love, show a genuine interest in other and learn to be generous with your body, mind and spirit!

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Take Personal Responsibility

Adam Bryant interviews Hannah Paramore, president of the Digital Agency. Several things she said resonate with me: one is how important it is to take personal responsibility. I am working with a client now who has a pattern of running the negative emotions of jealosy and envy. I’m trying to teach him to shift his thought process and change a devastating cycle of emotional states that leave him weak and ineffectual. Taking personal responsibility for our emotions is at the core of successfully navigating relationships in business and intimacy. If you blame others for anything you are effectively giving your power away and acting like a victim. Powerful people make tough decisions and do something about situations that are not working for them. This may not be easy but it is the only way to take control over your life and business.

Ms. Paramore ends her interview by stating the value of trusting one’s gut. I am a huge believer in developing and trusting your intuition. It is my fifth principle of living successfully! To develop your gut instinct you must practice slowing down and listening to yourself by bringing yourself constantly back to the hear and now, the essence of mindfulness and good decision making.

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The importance of communication

Gina Centrello has a great attitude! It’s obvious from her interview with Adam Bryant, the New York Times Corner Office guy. Ms. Centrello stresses over and over the value of hard work, curiosity, and teamwork. She believes that the success of the organization hinges on the harmonious interaction of its key members and strives to create an atmosphere that fosters teamwork!

As a sports psychologist and life and business coach I foster teamwork for a living. I do this by teaching others the value of and know how of graceful communication and the importance of communication in general. Yesterday, I worked with a high school pitcher on communication issues with both his coach and girlfriend. The better we communicate the less drama and distraction we have and the more synergy we create and experience! My argument to this 18 year-old is to practice as often as possible for the more we address problems and potential conflicts in a straight-up and real manner the more we find our lives working and the easier it becomes! The time is now. Trust your intuition and learn to communicate straight-up. It is simply the best way to live!

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Learning to communicate, have patience and discipline is the key to be more successful in life

I recently began working with a high school baseball pitcher with a big dream: he wants to work in the front office of a Major League Baseball team one day! I asked him if wanted to be a GM and he replied that was like asking him if he wanted to be the president of the United States one day! I smiled.

I asked him why he sought out a sports psychologist and he said that he was having trouble maintaining his focus and concentration on the mound for more than four innings. I looked at him and said that his dream was a nine inning dream and that I could teach him how to build mental toughness and stamina that would allow him to pitch even ten innings, a metaphor for unlimited possibility! He said he was on board. We began with a discussion about eliminating the drama and distraction in his life outside of baseball. By teaching him to communicate at a higher level too he would learn patience and discipline, a necessary step along the way. My argument is that everything we do off the field affects our performance on the field. The more we practice patience, discipline, present moment time and self-expression the more muscle we build everywhere! I even asked him to listen to his girlfriend more. He said that would be tough and I replied: “How bad do you want to successfully pitch nine innings?” He smiled!

What are you willing to learn, change or do differently to accomplish your dreams?

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Learn to let go!

I just did a session this morning with a man in his early forties who has worked on Wall Street for nearly two decades. He is gradually becoming “lit” by Being! I have been teaching him present moment time and the art of Being for nearly two years. As a result, he is becoming happier and happier and learning how to let go and allow, a way of living that creates the backdrop for Flow!

As I often share with others, I come in and out of Flow in my own life. The key distinction is that I drop in; for when I do life is simply amazing! Recently, I holed out from the fairway to win a golf match. I was on a plane flight back from LA last month and met a woman with the exact same birthday as me – I mean exact: same day, month and year!! The buzz we caught when I intuitively asked her when she was born and then showed her my drivers license was extraordinary! Life is amazing when we get very present and allow ourselves to open to the Flow!!

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The importance of good leadership skills

Ron Kaplan, the C.E.O. of Trex, a manufacturer of outside decks, learned from his father that the number one job of a leader is to “make the staff feel secure” which comes from your presence, integrity, and reliability. Being focused, fun, and real the mantra of my website communicates a certain presence, style, and way of being! I love congruency and authenticity as a way of guiding others and living successfully!

Mr. Kaplan prefers to give advice by asking questions, a style I prefer as well. When I used to teach at a community college, I preferred to ask questions instead of lecture feeling that students learn more by having to think and be proactive about learning than rote memory.

As a marksmen, Mr. Kaplan learned the power of focus and concentration, a necessity in a sport as precise as shooting! Focus responds to presence and a quiet mind. To quiet the mind, it’s fundamentally important to meditate and practice mindfulness, something I work on daily and practice over and over. In my last blogpost on sports psychology I talked about holing out from the fairway to end a golf match in style. I have no doubt that shot went in from nearly 140 yards out largely because I continually practice meditation and mindfulness!

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Trust is a major factor in how people work together

Don Knauss, the C.E.O. Of the Clorox Company is a former Marine and athlete who makes tons of sense. He believes in motivating others by creating trust through exercising power cautiously and caring about his people to such an extent that they are primary – what he refers to as the heart piece. Like myself, he agrees that intelligence is important too but without heart over time it’s hard to retain great people. He too looks for passion over pedigree and believes in the necessity of becoming an excellent communicator. I really enjoyed his perspective because it reminded me of so much that I offer and teach others; especially the importance of hammering away at the fundamentals: my core teaching is to avoid nothing, be as present as possible, have bang-up integrity, honor yourself, and learn to develop and trust your intuition!

Thank you Mr. Bryant for your outstanding interviews and Mr. Knauss for sharing your perspective!

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The value of Communication

Adam Bryant interviews Jeff Lawson, the C.E.O of Twilio, a cloud communications company based in San Francisco in this week’s Corner Office section of the Sunday New York Times business section. An entrepreneur since age 12 when he started a video production business, Mr. Lawson discusses the value of communication and resolving conflict something his crew rarely did in his next enterprise, a dot.com company.

As both a psychologist and business coach , I teach communication at a very high level. My argument to business people is that whatever you learn and practice in your business life can be applied to your personal life and vice versa. Becoming proactive and engaged and learning to address issues head on instead of avoid them is absolutely important in every area of your life and will eventually help you become a much better parent too!

Communication skills, much like many other things in life, improve with patience, practice, and perseverance. If you want to become a better communicator, practice bringing things up. Over time, you will become more discerning and tactful. Remember: the more you practice, the better you get!

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Communication builds loyalty and trust

I just came across a Corner Office interview when I was cleaning my house yesterday after my girlfriend took one of our dogs and left for the LA area where we intend to set up shop eventually! Apparently, I had saved the Sunday Business section from the first week of January and didn’t read it till today. Karen Abramson, the C.E.O. of Wolters Kluwer Tax & Accounting, learned from her father, a business manager and owner, that if you have the skills to successfully run one business, you can use those same skills to run just about any business! I agree in general. A leader who is present, focused, clear, determined, and loyal can create success wherever they go.

Ms. Abramson also discussed the importance of having clear expectations because as she states, “even though you think things may be intuitive, people don’t always understand what you’re doing and thinking.” I agree with this statement as well. In guiding individuals, whether or not they are athletes, entrepreneurs or housewives, clear and transparent communication builds loyalty and trust and eliminates most misunderstandings and dramas. Learning to become a better communicator is important no matter who you are! My advice: hire a coach or mentor to help you communicate better . It’s a no – brainer!

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Leadership Lessons

I love reading the Corner Office section of The New York Times Sunday Business section. This week Mr. Bryant interviews Lynn J. Good, the CEO of Duke Energy. Her sense of responsibility and dedication to others originated from parents who were educators with a tremendous work ethic. For instance, while growing up her neighbor was a widow and the family always called this neighbor before going to the supermarket or mowed her lawn as they did their own. Working at Arthur Anderson, the failed accounting firm, taught her that family, friends, and relationships are just as important as work and perhaps more important for happiness. I see a lot of executives whose lives are out of balance. I teach balance, harmony, and flow as fundamental to long term success in life and business! Ms. Good also addresses the value of communication for effective leadership. I couldn’t agree more. In fact, I would suggest that great communication is essential to happiness as well! People who form close ties and do intimacy well tend to be far happier than those who communicate poorly and struggle with relatedness.