Whether I am working with an individual, group or organization, I help all people eliminate distractions. Distractions come in many forms and disguises. I worked with a young woman recently who came to me because she said she wanted to be very successful and make a lot more money in sales. She is bright, attractive, intelligent, and personable.
However, as I got to know her, I realized that she was consistently distracted by drama both in her personal life and at the office. Thus, we began our work together with a strong emphasis on eliminating the drama and distractions in her life. It’s hard to be truly successful, I argued, if you are running around pissed at this person and not talking to that person. Anger, blame, negativity and resentment consume valuable energy that we can put to good use elsewhere, such as developing a new business strategy or booking another appointment!
Are you running around pissed off and angry? Notice if you are constantly finding someone or something to be upset about? If you are, it is your ego creating dramas and distractions. Now why would our egos want to do that?
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we don’t deserve to have a great life. And those of us that don’t have this conditioning are unlikely to have been mentored on the in and outs of creating a bang-up life! Just as avoidance is deadly to the creation process, so is drama. Drama leads to distraction and the splitting of focus. In contrast, focused action leads to success.
Many of us are also raised in family systems that are dysfunctional. As a result, we are predisposed to problematic behavioral patterns later in life as early childhood relationships create negative patterns that tend to repeat in adult relationships. For example, if one or both parents were angry or negative, we may be still infused with this emotional energy years or decades later. To become truly successful, we must become conscious enough to be aware of our tendencies and disciplined enough to unhook from them thereby breaking the old patterning.
Essentially, we must become aware of the ways in which we invite or participate in drama in our lives and then make a conscious decision to stop it. Next we must take action to eliminate the drama by doing something different, like walking away from an argument or creating space in a relationship that is not going well. These are concrete actions that make a difference. It is important to notice when one strategy is working and another is not.
I choose to communicate straight up in life. I can do this because I have a lot of confidence and trust in my ability to communicate openly and honestly. This comes from years of practice, combined with lots of tweaking and learning. This process is still far from perfect. Sometimes there are no positive outcomes in the short-term. This is a metaphor for what I am requesting you to do. Notice the dramas and distractions that take you are off course in your business and personal life. Then, choose to systematically eliminate them. The more you practice eliminating the distractions the better you get. In summary, the more self-aware you are and the more action you take to change negative patterning, the better your life becomes!